‘Parent’ is a verb

Bill Knight column for 1-2, 3 or 4, 2020

Dear son:

Within days, you’re going to be a parent.

You guys are ready.

That said, I’m unsure anyone’s ever fully prepared. I remember being stunned when Grandma told me that when she was expecting me – and for months after I was born – she felt uninformed, helpless and lost.

But you’re a man of action as well as intellect and confidence, so I know you guys will be fine, because being a parent demands action.

“Parent” is a verb, too.

In this, my annual New Year’s letter to you, I want to share some thoughts. First, first-time parents may be far more knowledgeable about what to expect than previous generations, but they may still be unprepared, at least for all the purity and innocence, tenderness and need and, yes, dread about to unfold.

I’m certainly no Know-It-All, but speaking from years of hindsight, I know love and luck and laughter will be precious and priceless.

In fact, I hope growing up in a home, family and society peopled with humor and smart alecks will also help. Self becomes secondary for dads and moms. New life and living as a family create a personal humility that tempers cynicism.

You all will find your own way, of course, so take these well-intentioned suggestions with a grain of salt:

* Change happens; find a foundation to keep building on.

* There’ll be growth and development, maturation and disagreement, even rebellion. Be patient and polite. Scold but forgive. Guide and hold – and release.

* Soon: Watch and witness, wonder and worry; fret about the future. It’s OK, even constructive.

* In coming months: Nurture, understand and explain; soothe, comfort and console. Lend a hand, praise – and play!

* In years ahead: Learn, teach and especially read together. Protect, defend and heal; advise and cheer.

* Imminently and eventually, contemplate and re-collect yourselves; remember and reflect; relax and rest.

Yes, parent is a verb, an act – a series of acts, actually.

(And “grandparent” is a verb, too, meaning to support you all, and joke around and indulge your child – with your permission, naturally.)

Oh, also: Write to your child.

Love,

Dad