Memories of harmless mischief before tech nabbed youth

Bill Knight column for 3-9, 10 or 11, 2020               

Old fogey alert!

Recent events crystalized differences between today and Back in the Day, particularly how urban neighborhoods and rural communities used to have places where youth congregated: forest preserves and parks, small malls and main drags, and retailers who didn’t mind kids browsing toys, baseball gear, comics or pop bottles kept cold by keeping them in refrigerated water – all refuges for children and adolescents to experiment, experience and adventure.

What a blessing to have grown up without smartphones and other electronic devices that lure youngsters to stare and Snapchat, Facebook and fiddle with hand-held games rather than exploring creeks and woods, playing astronaut or cowboy, walking or window-shopping, or – on rainy days – gathering on front porches to play board games or baseball-card competitions with dice.

“OK, Boomer,” the sullen will say, not realizing what’s missing.

Considerable harmless mischief helped generations mature.

Dad recounted how he and some buddies dismantled an old buckboard wagon and somehow snuck it into their school, where they reassembled it – on the second floor. A few ambitious rascals lingering after play practice “disarmed” the school’s bells one night, leading to controlled chaos after first period the next morning.

A Pony League team playing in a river town one sultry summer Sunday saw a teammate casually use the outhouse along the right-field line and return to the dugout softly giggling. “Wait,” he whispered, shortly before a firecracker exploded inside the toilet, causing an opponent to flee the smoking privy.

I come from a village fortunate enough to have a five-mile stretch for cruising from the root-beer stand on the west side of town to the college on the east, plus a lake with a winding road, woods, parks, and more.

Couples parked around the lake, even after formal dances with old guys playing decades-old show tunes, and following stops at the pizza joint. Courtships aside, teens also snuck beers at the spillway there (not getting drunk, but trying out the Forbidden Fruit), and that was common knowledge to parents who golfed nearby or police seemingly never at the right place at the right time. One afternoon – anticipating an officer’s routine patrol past where guys congregated, several fellows parked there and a friend arrived with a few brown paper sacks. The local cop drove up and stopped, his eyes bugging out like a bear falling into a barrel of honey. He marched over, puffed out his chest, but then discovered quarts of milk and a bag of cookies. He sputtered something and left in a slow burn at a fast clip.

Another time, a car of high schoolers tired of hanging out at the lake decided to pester an older guy whose shack was on a gravel road north a ways. Someone said, “I hope they know what they’re doing.”

They didn’t. After yelling at the house and even tipping over an outhouse, the guy calmly emerged, leveled a shotgun and blew out the back window of the car like a disciplined hunter in a duck blind.

There were no injuries, although the crestfallen driver moaned, “What am I going to tell my dad?!”

Years later, college-age guys gathered at a lake park shelterhouse where three local musicians set up their equipment and started playing rock ‘n’ roll, quickly attracting dozens of kids driving around or leaving the swimming pool across the street. Soon, as the trio played tunes by Cream, a dozen or so bikers with “One Percenter” denim jackets rolled up and leaned on their choppers, listening. Within minutes, a few police cars arrived, and officers emerged with shotguns displayed at port arms. It was tense and could’ve been dangerous, but the fearless guitarist smiled – smiled! – as if he’d planned it, and launched into “Sunshine of Your Love,” and the bikers nodded and the police just glared and got bored and left.

Some may say such shenanigans show how lucky some were to survive the time.

Maybe so, or perhaps there are guardian angels with senses of humor – or “God watching over children and fools,” as it’s said (and sometimes foolish kids).

Regardless, many were blessed by those times.